Step 1. Get them nice and tired. A long walk. A puppy play date. Sprints. Something.
Step 2. Feed them.
Step 3. Brush them until your arm feels like it is going to fall off.
Step 4. Have a snack.
Step 5. Stock the bathroom with towels, shampoo, a bucket.
Step 6. Wrestle 100lb hydrophobe into tub.
Step 7. Wet, shampoo, rinse, condition, rinse.
Step 8. Leap out of way to avoid soggy rocket exiting tub.
Step 9. Tackle with towels and scrub, scrub, scrub.
Step 10. Collapse on floor. Have beer. Relax for a bit.
Gather courage and repeat!
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